Blooming in Darkness

I hate how cynical my generation is.

Like sure, I am depressed, and engage in cynicism myself from time to time, but there is this almost knee-jerk reaction that young people have towards any shred of optimism, and it drives me insane. “If something is bad then it is the end of my life, but if something is good, then I will downplay it till I make myself miserable.” Look, sometimes you have to have faith and let it go; This has been reality for the vast majority of people throughout time.

Also, I am tired of depression being romanticized. We get it. You are a sad e-boy/e-girl looking for a sad e-boy/e-girl to go on suicidal dates or whatever. Except, Sadness is not supposed to be an aesthetic. It's also not supposed to be an intellectual position. Many get disillusioned with rugged individualism, and think by peddling to the other extreme, that they somehow will protect themselves from disappointment. But guess what? Living behind walls damages you just as much as disappointment. You can not live life by hiding away from it. Averting responsibility is meaningless, because responsibility is the only thing worth living for.

Fatalism is, ironically, a coping mechanism just as much as escapism or naive optimism. By constantly telling yourself that your decisions do not matter, you cope with the terrible fact that maybe some of your decisions actually do matter, and that frightens a lot of people. The fact that they missed out on life because of their own sloppiness scares them: because it is easier to wallow in sorrow when you think you are a victim of external sources, instead of yourself; even if external sources were the ones entirely at fault, individuals need to believe in the simple fact that their decisions matter to some extent, in order for that society to function.

Yes, everything sucks. Yes, we all die. You're not the first to notice this nor will you be the last. However, what you can do is live your life and put effort, as if your own merit is the only thing that matters, but stay aware of societal injustice to moderate your expectations, and prepare yourself. Small progress everyday can be everything. Do not count or obsess about how many days, or how much money, or how many friends, or how much sex you have had. Just do things. It's really simple. Work with your hands and leave the ruminations in the back-door.